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Simple reminders for Mothers to take care of themselves and quotes to ponder.
- Do simple exercises every day.
- Take time as often as possible to do something just for you.
- Sing while working. Arthur Freed said,” I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain; What a wonderful feeling, I’m happy again.”
- Take a nap. Martha Steward said,”I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it’s not a waste of time.”
- Kiss your love ones. Benjamin West said,”A kiss from my mother made me a painter.”
- Laugh out loud. Laughter is the best medicine.
- Sleep well. Leonardo da Vince said,”A well-spent day brings happy sleep.”
May these reminders help you to have a wonderful Mother’s Day.
Posted by JC at 6:04 PM
My Mother taught me:Logic: "Because I said so, that's why."To Appreciate A Job Well Done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"Religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."Time Travel: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"Foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."Irony: "Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."The Science Of Osmosis:"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"Contortionism: "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"Stamina: "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."Weather: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."How To Solve Physics Problems: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"Hypocrisy : "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"The Circle Of Life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."Behavior Modification: "Stop acting like your father!"Envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
Logic... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."Medicine... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."To Think Ahead... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"To Meet a Challenge... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"Humor... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."Become an Adult... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.About Sex... "How do you think you got here?"Genetics... "You are just like your father!"Roots... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"Wisdom of Age... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."Anticipation... "Just wait until your father gets home."Receiving... You are going to get it when we get home.Justice "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."
Posted by JC at 1:06 PM
"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?""Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too""Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house look more cheery""Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week""Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day""Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me.""The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here.""I don't have a tissue with me... just use your sleeve""Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"
Posted by JC at 12:01 PM
funny emailsMary, Mary, Quite Contrary's Mother: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"Mona Lisa's Mother: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"Humpty Dumpty's Mother: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"Columbus' Mother: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"Babe Ruth's Mother: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"Michelangelo's Mother: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"Napoleon's Mother: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"Custer's Mother: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!"Abraham Lincoln's Mother: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"Barney's Mother: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."Mary's Mother: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."Batman's Mother: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"Goldilocks' Mother: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"Little Miss Muffet's Mother: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"Albert Einstein's Mother: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"George Washington's Mother: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"Jonah's Mother: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days.Superman's Mother: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?Thomas Edison's Mother: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
Posted by JC at 11:59 AM
AIRPLANE: What Mum impersonates to get a 1-yr.-old to eat strained veggies.
ALIEN: What Mum would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
APPLE: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
BABY: 1) Dad, when he gets a cold. 2) Mum’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.
BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all (except Mum) to be self-cleaning
BECAUSE: Mum’s reason for having kids do things which can’t be explained logically.
BED AND BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.
CAR POOL: Complicated system of transportation where Mum always winds up going the furthest, with the biggest bunch of kids, who have had the most sugar.
CHINA: Legendary nation reportedly populated by children who love leftover vegetables.
COOK: 1) Act of preparing food for consumption. 2) Mum’s other name.
COUCH POTATO: What Mum finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner.
DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mum can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
DRINKING GLASS: Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
DUST: Insidious interloping particles of evil that turn a home into a battle zone.
DUST RAGS: See “DAD’S UNDERWEAR.”
EAR: A place where kids store dirt.
EAT: What kids do between meals, but not at them.
EMPTY NEST: See “WISHFUL THINKING.”
ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.
EXCUSE ME?: One of Mum’s favourite phrases, reportedly used in past times by children.
EYE: The highly susceptible optic nerve which, according to Mum, can be “put out” by anything from a suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife.
FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
FOOD: The response Mum usually gives in answer to the question, “What’s for dinner tonight?” See “SARCASM”
FROZEN: 1) A type of food. 2) How hell will be when Mum lets her daughter date an older guy with a motorcycle.
GARBAGE: A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mum assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.
GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mum’s kids.
GUM: Adhesive for the hair.
HAMPER: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.
HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc.
HANDS: Body appendages which must be scrubbed raw with volcanic soap and sterilized in boiling water immediately prior to consumption of the evening meal.
HINDSIGHT: What Mum experiences from changing too many nappies.
HOMEMADE BREAD: An object of fiction like the Fountain of Youth and the Golden Fleece.
ICE: Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if kids or husbands ever filled the darn things instead of putting them back in the freezer empty.
INSIDE: That place that will suddenly look attractive to kids once Mum has spent a minimum of half an hour getting them ready to go outside.
I SAID SO: Reason enough, according to Mum.
JACKPOT: When all the kids stay at friends’ homes for the night.
JEANS: Which, according to kids, are appropriate for just about any occasion, including church and funerals.
JOY RIDE: Going somewhere without the kids.
JUNK: Dad’s stuff.
KETCHUP: The sea of tomato-based goop kids use to drown the dish that Mum spent hours cooking and years perfecting to get the seasoning just right.
KISS: Mum medicine.
LAKE: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so.
LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mum buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.
LIE: An “exaggeration” Mum uses to transform her child’s papier-mâché volcano science project into a Nobel Prize-winning experiment and a full-ride scholarship to Harvard.
LOSERS: See “Kids’ Friends.”
MAKEUP: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush, etc. which ironically make Mum look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”
MILK: A healthful beverage which kids will gladly drink once it’s turned into junk food by the addition of sugar and cocoa.
MUMMMMMMMY!: The cry of a child on another floor who wants something.
MUSH: 1) What a kid loves to do with a plateful of food . 2) Main element of Mum’s favourite movies.
NAILS: A hard covering on the end of the finger, which Mum can never have a full set of due to pitching for batting practice, opening stubborn modelling clay lids and removing heat ducts to retrieve army men and/or doll clothing.
PANIC: What a mother goes through when that darn wind-up swing stops.
OCEAN: What the bathroom floor looks like after bath night for kids, assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, cars and animals.
OPEN: The position of children’s mouths when they eat in front of company.
OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mum’s alternative nickname for Dad.
PENITENTIARY: Where children who don’t eat their vegetables or clean their rooms eventually end up, according to Mum.
PETS: Small, furry creatures which follow kids home so Mum will have something else to clean up after.
PIANO: A large, expensive musical instrument which, after thousands have been spent on lessons and constant harping by Mum, kids will refuse to play in front of company.
PURSE: A handbag in which Mum carries the chequebook and keys she can never find because they’re buried under tissues, gum wrappers, a plastic container full of cereal, toys from a fast-food restaurant, a teddy bear, a football, wallpaper samples, a grocery list and several outdated coupons.
QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.
RAINCOAT: Article of clothing Mum bought to keep a child dry and warm, rendered ineffective because it’s in the bottom of a locker stuffed in a book bag or because the child refuses to wear “the geeky thing.”
REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.
ROOM MOTHER: A position of great honour and responsibility bestowed on a Mum who inadvertently misses a PTA meeting.
SCHOOL PLAY: Sadistic ritual in which adults derive pleasure from watching offspring stumble through coarse re-enactments of famous historic events.
SCREAMING: Home P.A. system.
SNOWSUITS: Warm, padded outer garments that, when completely zipped and snapped, performs two important functions: protecting children from the cold and reminding them that they have to go to the bathroom.
SOAP: A cleaning agent Mum puts on the sink on the off-chance one of her kids will accidentally grab it while reaching for the towel.
SPIT: All-purpose cleaning fluid especially good on kids’ faces.
SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.
SWEATER: Magically charmed article of clothing that can ward away colds, flu and even pneumonia.
SUNDAY BEST: Attractive, expensive children’s clothing made of a fabric which attracts melted chocolate and grape juice.
TEACHER CONFERENCE: A meeting between Mum and that person who has yet to understand her child’s “special needs.”
TERRIBLE TWO’S: Having both kids at home all summer.
THAT WAY: How kids shouldn’t look at Mums if they know what’s good for them. Also applies to how they talk.
TOWELS: See “FLOOR COVERINGS”
TRAMP: A woman with two kids and no stretch marks.
TROUBLE: Area of nonspecific space a child can always be sure to be in.
UMPTEENTH: Highly conservative estimate of the number of times Mum must instruct her offspring to do something before it actually gets done.
UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.
UTOPIA: See “BUBBLE BATH”
VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.
VITAMINS: Tiny facsimiles of cave people Mum forces you to swallow each morning as part of her sinister plot to have you grow up to be “just like Daddy.”
WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.
WASHING MACHINE: Household appliance used to clean blue jeans, permanent ink markers, loose change, homework, tissues and wads of gum.
WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME: Standard measurement of time between crime and punishment.
XOXOXOXO: Mum salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid’s lunch box even more mortifying.
XYLOPHONE: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long! See also “DRUMS”
YARD SALE: Heart-wrenching emotional process wherein Mum plans to sell kids’ outdated toys and clothing that she decides at the last minute are treasured mementos she can’t bear to part with.
YIPPEE!: What Mum would jump up and shout if the school year was changed to 12 months. See also “YAHOO!”
ZILLION: Amount of times Mum must have gone to the supermarket already this week.
ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.
Posted by JC at 10:31 AM
|Year||Fathers' Day in U.S.A., Canada and U.K.||Fathers' Day in Australia|
& New Zealand
|2011||June 19||September 4|
|2012||June 17||September 2|
|2013||June 16||September 1|
|2014||June 15||September 7|
|2015||June 21||September 6|
When is Father's Day!! Dont' Forget!
Posted by JC at 4:56 PM
- "Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard" ~ Author Unknown
- "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~Milton Berle
- "The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh
Posted by JC at 6:48 AM
|Mother Doesn't Want a Dog|
Mother doesn't want a dog. Mother says they smell, And never sit when you say sit, Or even when you yell. And when you come home late at night And there is ice and snow, You have to go back out because The dumb dog has to go. Mother doesn't want a dog. Mother says they shed, And always let the strangers in And bark at friends instead, And do disgraceful things on rugs, And track mud on the floor, And flop upon your bed at night And snore their doggy snore. Mother doesn't want a dog. She's making a mistake. Because, more than a dog, I think She will not want this snake.
Posted by JC at 2:33 PM
|To My Mother|
Because I feel that, in the Heavens above, The angels, whispering to one another, Can find, among their burning terms of love, None so devotional as that of "Mother," Therefore by that dear name I long have called you— You who are more than mother unto me, And fill my heart of hearts, where Death installed you In setting my Virginia's spirit free. My mother—my own mother, who died early, Was but the mother of myself; but you Are mother to the one I loved so dearly, And thus are dearer than the mother I knew By that infinity with which my wife Was dearer to my soul than its soul-life.
Posted by JC at 2:28 PM
|To My Mother|
To-day's your natal day; Sweet flowers I bring: Mother, accept, I pray My offering. And may you happy live, And long us bless; Receiving as you give Great happiness.
Posted by JC at 2:27 PM
|Mother o' Mine|
If I were hanged on the highest hill, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! I know whose love would follow me still, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! If I were drowned in the deepest sea, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! I know whose tears would come down to me, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! If I were damned of body and soul, I know whose prayers would make me whole, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!
Posted by JC at 2:25 PM