Happy Mother's Day *MAY 13, 2012 - Happy Mothering Day March 18, 2012

Mom's Easter Wisdom

2012-03-06T12:23:00.000-05:00

"My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper." Amy Sedaris

Valentine Gift From Some Mothers

2012-02-14T10:12:00.002-05:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS

2012-02-14T10:10:00.002-05:00

CHRISTMAS TRIBUTE TO ALL MOTHERS

2011-12-02T10:24:00.002-05:00

When is Mother's Day?

2011-12-02T10:21:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day is...

Year	Mothering Sunday in the U.K.	Mothers Day in the U.S.

2012	March 18	May 13
2013	March 10	May 12
2014	March 30	May 11
2015	March 15	May 10

Funny emails From Mothers

2011-09-15T07:37:00.000-04:00

Hi Hon,
Don’t cross B. off the list. If I rejected Dad because he was “too eager” I might be single today and never have had three great kids!!! As I’ve told you, Dad used to chase me down the hall of the classroom building! Tell me that is not “too eager”? Remember your new criteria? No prison record, not a lawyer, and I forgot the other criteria — no drug addiction or whatever.
Love, Mom

Subject: Just a thought
Don’t think I’m being nosy, but after meeting Dan the other night I wondered how you’re going to deal with explaining your “false advertisement” when the time comes? (You know — your padded bra!) I know you roll your eyes when I say this, but you have a BEAUTIFUL body and you should accept it and love you for YOU. Then you wouldn’t find yourself in such an awkward position with your boyfriend! Call me tomorrow, Mom.

Subject: Need your help
Please describe me. I am trying to write my Internet dating profile.

Short and to the point:
"std's are on the rise. love, mom."

I bought some baby clothes for you today. I know you aren't pregnant, but I thought that maybe if I bought the clothes it would work in reverse...like I could will you to get knocked up. Are you knocked up? Tell that husband of yours to get busy. I want you two sexing it up like rabbits. Hear me...RABBITS.
Love,
Mom

PS: Your father is getting a vasectomy.

For my Mom on Mother's Day

2011-05-08T06:48:00.002-04:00

Mother's Day Quote

2011-05-08T06:36:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T06:28:00.000-04:00

I Love Mom ~ Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-07T13:32:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day

2011-05-02T18:17:00.000-04:00

Time to help Mom!

What Mothers Might Have Said to Their Now Famous Children!

2011-04-27T16:45:00.003-04:00

Lady Gaga’s Mother: “Stefani, you need to stop being so shy and reserved!”

Barack Obama’s Mother:” Hawaii is such a beautiful place to be born!”

Heidi Montag’s Mother: “Just be yourself!”

Kate Middleton’s Mother: “You’re my little Princess!”

Oprah Winfrey’s Mother: “Oprah, stop talking and get to work or you’ll never amount to anything”.

Justin Bieber’s Mother: “Justin, please don’t spend so much time on YouTube. You seem to be coming down with a Bieber Fever!”

Miley Cyrus’ Mother: “Miley, you need to work hard in school. You’ll never get anywhere by just being cute.”

Kim Kardashian’s Mother: “Always be yourself. BUTT a little cellulite could help your career.”

The Fascinator ~ Great Gift For Mother's Day 2011

2011-04-25T16:10:00.001-04:00

Kate Middleton has apparently started a new trend with her ornate hair accessory,

The Fascinator.

Could be just the right gift for your Mom / Wife!

Happy Easter Mom

2011-04-20T05:45:00.002-04:00

Flowers for Mother's Day

2011-04-17T17:53:00.000-04:00

Tulips or Roses,

it really doesn't matter.

It's the thought that counts!

Flowers for Mother's Day

is a Great Idea!

Gift Ideas for 2011 ~ How to decide what to get your mom for May 8

2011-04-16T07:22:00.002-04:00

When deciding what gift to get your mom / wife for Mother's Day 2011 , consider the following:
Her idea of a relaxing afternoon is…

1. a walk in the park

2. exercising or a long bicycle ride

3. a bubble bath with a glass of wine.

4. tending to her garden.

5. reading her favorite magazine while the kids watch
a movie.

6. making a batch of her favourite cookies.

Asking a few questions like these will help you choose

the perfect Mother's Day gift for your mom / wife!

.

Ice Cream Sunday for Mothering Sunday

2011-04-03T07:36:00.000-04:00

Great gift for Mom on Mother's Day

Enjoy an Ice Cream Sundae with Mom

Today's Google Doodle image honors the 119th birthday of the first ice cream sundae.

Mothering Sunday Poem

2011-04-02T07:21:00.001-04:00

Mothering Sunday

In the times before Bank Holidays
Farmer's boys and servant girls
Left the farm or big house early,
Going home for the day
On Mothering Sunday
Though home was miles away,
With flowers for their mother's present
Gathered as they went.

It's different these days:
All you have to do is stop
At the flower shop
With the pocket money you've saved
And the daffodils there
Came by train or even by plane;
But the present still means the same
For the language of flowers doesn't change

~by Stanley Cook.

Mothering Sunday April 3, 2011

2011-04-02T07:18:00.001-04:00

Happy Mothering Sunday

The other names attributed to this festival include Simnel Sunday, Refreshment Sunday and Rose Sunday. Simnel Sunday is named after the practice of baking of Simnel
Cakes.

The Simnel Cake signifies the end of Lent which is a period of fasting and repentance culminating in a feast of seasonal and symbolic foods. The Simnel Cake recipe is rich with fruits, spices and marzipan

The Shrewsbury version that became most popular and well known.

Traditional Mothering Sunday Simnel Cake

Mother's Day - For Girls Only!

2011-03-30T16:36:00.000-04:00

She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens.

She smiles when she
feels like screaming, and she sings when

she feels like crying. She
cries when she’s happy and laughs when

she’s afraid. Her love is
unconditional. There’s only one thing wrong

with her. She forgets what
she’s worth! Pass this to every beautiful

woman you know. Remind her
that she’s unique. I love you girl

Top 10 Reasons You Know Your a Mom When...

2011-03-20T15:02:00.001-04:00

You Know You're a Mom When ...

1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicles become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of where it is.
10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her, after you suck the dirt off of it because you're too busy to wash it off.

The Perfect Gift - A Hug

2011-03-13T17:19:00.000-04:00

Happy International Women's Day to All Mothers

2011-03-08T12:50:00.000-05:00

March 8, 2011 is the 100th Anniversary of International Women's Day

Valentine Poem for Mothers

2011-02-13T13:44:00.005-05:00

The Rose Family by Robert Frost

**

The rose is a rose,

And was always a rose.

But the theory now goes

That the apple’s a rose,

And the pear is,

and so’s The plum,

I suppose.

The dear only know

What will next prove a rose.

You, of course, are a rose–

But were always a rose.

How to Say I Love You on Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T08:58:00.000-05:00

Check out the following for some unique ways to say, "I Love You!"

http://www.e-forwards.com/2011/02/how-to-say-i-love-you-on-valentines-day/

iRon - Mother's Day Gift Fail

2011-01-23T13:23:00.000-05:00

For Girls Only

2010-12-29T09:06:00.001-05:00

Click Here: For Girls Only

Forward to a friend by clicking on the email icon below!

A Strong Woman

2010-11-27T08:20:00.003-05:00

Mothers Need to Take Time For Themselves

2010-11-03T18:04:00.001-04:00

Moms are the busiest people on the planet.

Moms are like superheroes. They juggle everything from household budgets to healthcare decisions. They handle household chores and shuttle the kids to countless after-school activities, making home-life the full-time job that it is. And yet for many, it doesn't stop there as they maintain full-time jobs and may also be caring for aging parents on top of all of the responsibilities at home.

Simple reminders for Mothers to take care of themselves and quotes to ponder.

Do simple exercises every day.

Take time as often as possible to do something just for you.

Sing while working. Arthur Freed said,” I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain; What a wonderful feeling, I’m happy again.”

Take a nap. Martha Steward said,”I catnap now and then, but I think while I nap, so it’s not a waste of time.”

Kiss your love ones. Benjamin West said,”A kiss from my mother made me a painter.”

Laugh out loud. Laughter is the best medicine.

Sleep well. Leonardo da Vince said,”A well-spent day brings happy sleep.”

May these reminders help you to have a wonderful Mother’s Day.
*

Mothers Think Twice- Happy Mother's Day

2010-11-03T16:41:00.000-04:00

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. — Sophia Loren

More Mother's Day Fun at:

2010-09-07T09:35:00.002-04:00

Please check out

Mother's Day Humor and Stories

for more Mother's Day Fun

Things My Mother Taught Me

2010-08-16T13:06:00.002-04:00

My Mother taught me:
Logic: "Because I said so, that's why."
To Appreciate A Job Well Done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
Religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
Time Travel: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
Foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
Irony: "Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."
The Science Of Osmosis:"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
Contortionism: "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
Stamina: "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
Weather: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
How To Solve Physics Problems: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
Hypocrisy : "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
The Circle Of Life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
Behavior Modification: "Stop acting like your father!"
Envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

Logic... "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."
Medicine... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."
To Think Ahead... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"
ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"
To Meet a Challenge... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"
Humor... "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
Become an Adult... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
About Sex... "How do you think you got here?"
Genetics... "You are just like your father!"
Roots... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"
Wisdom of Age... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."
Anticipation... "Just wait until your father gets home."
Receiving... You are going to get it when we get home.
Justice "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."

Things Mothers Would Never Say

2010-08-16T12:01:00.000-04:00

"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
"Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house look more cheery"
"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"
"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
"I don't have a tissue with me... just use your sleeve"
"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"

Famous Mothers Might Have said the Following:

2010-08-16T11:59:00.001-04:00

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary's Mother: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"
Mona Lisa's Mother: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
Humpty Dumpty's Mother: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"
Columbus' Mother: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"
Babe Ruth's Mother: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"
Michelangelo's Mother: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
Napoleon's Mother: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"
Custer's Mother: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!"
Abraham Lincoln's Mother: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
Barney's Mother: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."
Mary's Mother: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
Batman's Mother: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
Goldilocks' Mother: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"
Little Miss Muffet's Mother: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"
Albert Einstein's Mother: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"
George Washington's Mother: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
Jonah's Mother: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days.
Superman's Mother: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?
Thomas Edison's Mother: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

funny emails

The Mothers’ Dictionary from A to Z

2010-07-13T10:31:00.000-04:00

AIRPLANE: What Mum impersonates to get a 1-yr.-old to eat strained veggies.

ALIEN: What Mum would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.

APPLE: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.

BABY: 1) Dad, when he gets a cold. 2) Mum’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.

BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all (except Mum) to be self-cleaning

BECAUSE: Mum’s reason for having kids do things which can’t be explained logically.

BED AND BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.

CARPET: Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.

CAR POOL: Complicated system of transportation where Mum always winds up going the furthest, with the biggest bunch of kids, who have had the most sugar.

CHINA: Legendary nation reportedly populated by children who love leftover vegetables.

COOK: 1) Act of preparing food for consumption. 2) Mum’s other name.

COUCH POTATO: What Mum finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner.

DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mum can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.

DRINKING GLASS: Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.

DUST: Insidious interloping particles of evil that turn a home into a battle zone.

DUST RAGS: See “DAD’S UNDERWEAR.”

EAR: A place where kids store dirt.

EAT: What kids do between meals, but not at them.

EMPTY NEST: See “WISHFUL THINKING.”

ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.

EXCUSE ME?: One of Mum’s favourite phrases, reportedly used in past times by children.

EYE: The highly susceptible optic nerve which, according to Mum, can be “put out” by anything from a suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife.

FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

FOOD: The response Mum usually gives in answer to the question, “What’s for dinner tonight?” See “SARCASM”

FROZEN: 1) A type of food. 2) How hell will be when Mum lets her daughter date an older guy with a motorcycle.

GARBAGE: A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mum assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.

GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mum’s kids.

GUM: Adhesive for the hair.

HAMPER: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.

HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc.

HANDS: Body appendages which must be scrubbed raw with volcanic soap and sterilized in boiling water immediately prior to consumption of the evening meal.

HINDSIGHT: What Mum experiences from changing too many nappies.

HOMEMADE BREAD: An object of fiction like the Fountain of Youth and the Golden Fleece.

ICE: Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if kids or husbands ever filled the darn things instead of putting them back in the freezer empty.

INSIDE: That place that will suddenly look attractive to kids once Mum has spent a minimum of half an hour getting them ready to go outside.

I SAID SO: Reason enough, according to Mum.

JACKPOT: When all the kids stay at friends’ homes for the night.

JEANS: Which, according to kids, are appropriate for just about any occasion, including church and funerals.

JOY RIDE: Going somewhere without the kids.

JUNK: Dad’s stuff.

KETCHUP: The sea of tomato-based goop kids use to drown the dish that Mum spent hours cooking and years perfecting to get the seasoning just right.

KISS: Mum medicine.

LAKE: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so.

LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mum buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.

LIE: An “exaggeration” Mum uses to transform her child’s papier-mâché volcano science project into a Nobel Prize-winning experiment and a full-ride scholarship to Harvard.

LOSERS: See “Kids’ Friends.”

MAKEUP: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush, etc. which ironically make Mum look better while making her young daughter look “like a tramp.”

MAYBE: No.

MILK: A healthful beverage which kids will gladly drink once it’s turned into junk food by the addition of sugar and cocoa.

MUMMMMMMMY!: The cry of a child on another floor who wants something.

MUSH: 1) What a kid loves to do with a plateful of food . 2) Main element of Mum’s favourite movies.

NAILS: A hard covering on the end of the finger, which Mum can never have a full set of due to pitching for batting practice, opening stubborn modelling clay lids and removing heat ducts to retrieve army men and/or doll clothing.

PANIC: What a mother goes through when that darn wind-up swing stops.

OCEAN: What the bathroom floor looks like after bath night for kids, assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, cars and animals.

OPEN: The position of children’s mouths when they eat in front of company.

OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mum’s alternative nickname for Dad.

PENITENTIARY: Where children who don’t eat their vegetables or clean their rooms eventually end up, according to Mum.

PETS: Small, furry creatures which follow kids home so Mum will have something else to clean up after.

PIANO: A large, expensive musical instrument which, after thousands have been spent on lessons and constant harping by Mum, kids will refuse to play in front of company.

PURSE: A handbag in which Mum carries the chequebook and keys she can never find because they’re buried under tissues, gum wrappers, a plastic container full of cereal, toys from a fast-food restaurant, a teddy bear, a football, wallpaper samples, a grocery list and several outdated coupons.

QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

RAINCOAT: Article of clothing Mum bought to keep a child dry and warm, rendered ineffective because it’s in the bottom of a locker stuffed in a book bag or because the child refuses to wear “the geeky thing.”

REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.

ROOM MOTHER: A position of great honour and responsibility bestowed on a Mum who inadvertently misses a PTA meeting.

SCHOOL PLAY: Sadistic ritual in which adults derive pleasure from watching offspring stumble through coarse re-enactments of famous historic events.

SCREAMING: Home P.A. system.

SNOWSUITS: Warm, padded outer garments that, when completely zipped and snapped, performs two important functions: protecting children from the cold and reminding them that they have to go to the bathroom.

SOAP: A cleaning agent Mum puts on the sink on the off-chance one of her kids will accidentally grab it while reaching for the towel.

SPIT: All-purpose cleaning fluid especially good on kids’ faces.

SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.

SWEATER: Magically charmed article of clothing that can ward away colds, flu and even pneumonia.

SUNDAY BEST: Attractive, expensive children’s clothing made of a fabric which attracts melted chocolate and grape juice.

TEACHER CONFERENCE: A meeting between Mum and that person who has yet to understand her child’s “special needs.”

TERRIBLE TWO’S: Having both kids at home all summer.

THAT WAY: How kids shouldn’t look at Mums if they know what’s good for them. Also applies to how they talk.

TOWELS: See “FLOOR COVERINGS”

TRAMP: A woman with two kids and no stretch marks.

TROUBLE: Area of nonspecific space a child can always be sure to be in.

UMPTEENTH: Highly conservative estimate of the number of times Mum must instruct her offspring to do something before it actually gets done.

UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

UTOPIA: See “BUBBLE BATH”

VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

VITAMINS: Tiny facsimiles of cave people Mum forces you to swallow each morning as part of her sinister plot to have you grow up to be “just like Daddy.”

WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

WASHING MACHINE: Household appliance used to clean blue jeans, permanent ink markers, loose change, homework, tissues and wads of gum.

WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME: Standard measurement of time between crime and punishment.

XOXOXOXO: Mum salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid’s lunch box even more mortifying.

XYLOPHONE: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long! See also “DRUMS”

YARD SALE: Heart-wrenching emotional process wherein Mum plans to sell kids’ outdated toys and clothing that she decides at the last minute are treasured mementos she can’t bear to part with.

YIPPEE!: What Mum would jump up and shout if the school year was changed to 12 months. See also “YAHOO!”

ZILLION: Amount of times Mum must have gone to the supermarket already this week.

ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Don't Forget Father's Day

2010-06-05T16:56:00.001-04:00

Father's Day June 19, 2011

Year	Fathers' Day in U.S.A., Canada and U.K.	Fathers' Day in Australia & New Zealand

2011	June 19	September 4
2012	June 17	September 2
2013	June 16	September 1
2014	June 15	September 7
2015	June 21	September 6

When is Father's Day!! Dont' Forget!

Real Mothers -Mommy to Mom to Mother

2010-05-29T07:35:00.001-04:00

Real Mothers -Mommy to Mom to Mother

Funny and Inspirational Quotes about Mothers

2010-05-20T06:48:00.002-04:00

"Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard" ~ Author Unknown
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~Milton Berle
"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh

Mother's Day Specials

2010-05-12T10:05:00.001-04:00

Mother’s Day Specials

Please email me your favourites. *Rate the commercials (below) from 1-10

When is Mother's Day and Mothering Sunday in 2011

2010-05-10T06:23:00.000-04:00

Year	Mothering Sunday in the U.K.	Mothers Day in the U.S.


2011	April 3	May 8
2012	March 18	May 13
2013	March 10	May 12
2014	March 30	May 11

Great Poem for Mother's Day -Mother Doesn't Want a Dog by Judith Viorst

2010-05-08T14:33:00.002-04:00

Mother Doesn't Want a Dog


Mother doesn't want a dog. Mother says they smell, And never sit when you say sit, Or even when you yell. And when you come home late at night And there is ice and snow, You have to go back out because The dumb dog has to go. Mother doesn't want a dog. Mother says they shed, And always let the strangers in And bark at friends instead, And do disgraceful things on rugs, And track mud on the floor, And flop upon your bed at night And snore their doggy snore. Mother doesn't want a dog. She's making a mistake. Because, more than a dog, I think She will not want this snake.

Mother's Day Poem -To My Mother by Edgar Allan Poe

2010-05-08T14:28:00.002-04:00

To My Mother

Because I feel that, in the Heavens above,
The angels, whispering to one another,
Can find, among their burning terms of love,
None so devotional as that of "Mother,"
Therefore by that dear name I long have called you—
You who are more than mother unto me,
And fill my heart of hearts, where Death installed you
In setting my Virginia's spirit free.
My mother—my own mother, who died early,
Was but the mother of myself; but you
Are mother to the one I loved so dearly,
And thus are dearer than the mother I knew
By that infinity with which my wife
Was dearer to my soul than its soul-life.

Mother's Day Poem by Christina Rossetti- To My Mother

2010-05-08T14:27:00.000-04:00

To My Mother


To-day's your natal day; Sweet flowers I bring: Mother, accept, I pray My offering. And may you happy live, And long us bless; Receiving as you give Great happiness.

Mother O' Mine - poem by Rudyard Kipling

2010-05-08T14:25:00.002-04:00

Mother o' Mine


If I were hanged on the highest hill, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! I know whose love would follow me still, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! If I were drowned in the deepest sea, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! I know whose tears would come down to me, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine! If I were damned of body and soul, I know whose prayers would make me whole, Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

Take your wife out for Mother's Day and Keep your Mouth Shut! Funny video!

2010-05-08T12:36:00.000-04:00

Maxine's Husband's Great Mother's Day Gift for Maxine! Funny!!

2010-05-08T11:36:00.000-04:00

Maybe I'll stop watching Hockey, Baseball, Basketball, Football, and soccer for a few hours on Mother's Day.

Maybe not!

Mother's Day Quotes

2010-05-08T11:12:00.001-04:00

An ode to mothers! They have toiled, they have sacrificed, they have given more than we can ever imagine possible. Here is a special collection of Mother's Day Quotes for our boldest and gentlest mothers. If you can't say it with words, say it with these quotes.

John Erskine
Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother's Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill.
Oscar Wilde
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
Rajneesh
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
Peter de Vries
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
Author Unknown
All mothers are working mothers.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.
Helen Hunt Jackson
Motherhood is priced; Of God, at price no man may dare/To lessen or misunderstand.
Barbara Kingsolver
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
Jewish Proverb
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Abraham Lincoln
I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
Mildred B Vermont
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.
Henry Bickersteth
If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam.
T. DeWitt Talmage
Mother – that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.
Chinese Proverb
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.

Mother’s Day gifts that don’t cost the Earth!

2010-05-08T11:03:00.003-04:00

Mother’s Day gifts that don’t cost the Earth!

Good bet: Organic and/or locally-grown flowers

Better yet: A potted plant that comes with an offer to help plant it in her garden

Good bet: Organic and/or fair trade chocolates

Better yet: Hand-made goodies from your own kitchen

Good bet: Cards that are made from recycled paper, “tree-free” materials such as hemp or botanical paper embedded with seeds for planting

Better yet: Handmade cards made from recycled materials that send the message, “I care enough about you to make a one-of-a-kind greeting that is as unique as you are.”

Good bet: Natural personal care products and perfumes that are made from essential oils and natural ingredients

Better yet: A gift certificate for a spa treatment or a natural therapy such as a massage, aromatherapy or reflexology

Good bet: Brunch at her favourite restaurant

Better yet: A picnic lovingly prepared and served in her own backyard

Good bet: Gift wrap made from recycled materials

Better yet: Use tea towels or hand towels for gift wrap that can be reused over and over.

Standing Women on Mother's Day

2010-05-08T08:11:00.002-04:00


Mother's Day - May 9, 2010, 1pm Local Time http://www.standingwomen.org/ Standing Women will stand together across the globe every year on the second Sunday in May at 1 p.m. local time with those in their time zone. Feel free to stand with a different time zone if another hour is more convenient for you.

Maxine's List of the Worst Mother's Day gifts for your Wife or Mother

2010-05-07T10:06:00.003-04:00

A toaster - never

Or any Household Appliances

Exercise Equipment - sends the wrong message!

Breakfast in Bed - Bad, messy idea!

Lottery Tickets - $2 ticket not too thoughtfull. Chance of winning-nill!

Email card - can't replace the good old real card.

Bath sets - don't you just hate how they pile up under the sink!?

Yard Tools - no way!

New BBQ - it's the only break a woman gets when the guy cooks. Who is the gift rreally for?

Pets - can you believe it?

A list of things you will do for her. - never happens!

A Mug - how many does she need?

Toilet Bowl Brush - can you imagine?

New dust mop or vacuum cleaner - just as bad

Nothing, because,"You"re not my Mother ." and that's when the fight started...

Funny Mother's Day Cartoon about Moms being Moms

2010-05-06T11:13:00.000-04:00

More Jokes and advice from Moms for Mother's Day

2010-05-06T11:11:00.001-04:00

More Jokes and advice from Moms for Mother’s Day

Jokes and cute stories for Moms and About Moms for Mother's Day

2010-05-06T11:04:00.001-04:00

Jokes and cute stories for Moms and About Moms for Mother’s Day

Describe one thing your Mother can do that you can't? For Mother's Day

2010-05-06T07:20:00.001-04:00

Describe one thing your Mother can do that you can’t? For Mother’s Day

Funny Mother's Dictionary of Meanings and Wisdom for Mother's Day

2010-05-05T16:10:00.000-04:00

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.

Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-Minute Warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar-grunting noises.

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Maxine Mother's Day Humour!

2010-05-05T15:39:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day Angels Beautiful Quote and Picture

2010-05-05T14:36:00.001-04:00

Mother’s Day Angels

Just might be the Best Mother's Day Gift

2010-05-05T14:27:00.000-04:00

Hugs ...

There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart;
It welcomes us back home
Makes it easier to part.

A hug's a way to share the joy,
And sad times we go through,
Or just a way for friends to say
They like you 'cause you're you.

Hugs are meant for anyone
For whom we really care,
From grandma to your neighbour,
Or a cuddly teddy bear.

A hug is an amazing thing-
It's just the perfect way
To show the love we're feeling
But can't find the words to say.

It's funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good;
In every place and language,
It's always understood.

No special equipment needed,
No batteries or parts-
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.

The Writing on the Wall ... Poem For Mother's Day

2010-05-05T14:22:00.000-04:00

A weary mother returned from the store, Lugging groceries through the kitchen door.Awaiting her arrival was her 8 year old son, Anxious to relate what his younger brother had done. While I was out playing and Dad was on a call, T.J. took his crayons and wrote on the wall It's on the new paper you just hung in the den. I told him you'd be mad at having to do it again.

She let out a moan and furrowed her brow.Where is your little brother right now? She emptied her arms and with a purposeful stride, She marched to his closet where he had gone to hide. She called his full name as she entered his room. He trembled with fear--he knew that meant doom For the next ten minutes, she ranted and raved About the expensive wallpaper and how she had saved. Lamenting all the work it would take to repair, She condemned his actions and total lack of care. The more she scolded, the madder she got,Then stomped from his room, totally distraught She headed for the den to confirm her fears.

When she saw the wall, her eyes flooded with tears. The message she read pierced her soul with a dart. It said, I love Mommy, surrounded by a heart. Well, the wallpaper remained, just as she found it - With an empty picture frame hung to surround it.
A reminder to her, and indeed to all, Take time to read the handwriting on the wall.

Happy Mother's Day to Super Mom Cartoon- Very Funny but true!

2010-05-05T12:07:00.001-04:00

Happy Mother’s Day to Super Mom Cartoon

Maxine Mother's Day Wisdom Cartoon

2010-05-05T11:52:00.000-04:00

It's Mother's Day! 24 hours where you get to see what a perfect family would be like.

Maxine Mother's Day Cartoon / Joke

2010-05-05T11:29:00.001-04:00

Top Gifts for Mother's Day -Beyond Chocolates and Flowers

2010-05-05T06:37:00.002-04:00

Like a Great Massage!!!

Top Gifts for Mother’s Day -Beyond Chocolates and Flowers

A Mother Like No Other - Gift Ideas

2010-05-05T01:09:00.000-04:00

At the end of the day, give her a card (even if you went all out for a gift). This is a must. Take the time to personalize the message you write, as she may very well remember this above all else. Don't be lazy and let Hallmark do all the work -- they're good, sure, but you must incorporate your personal comment for the desired effect.

Ideas:

Album, book, help around the house, make dinner, tribute video, take her out for a private dinner.

Avoid the "typical mom present." You know, the apron, the oven mitt, the random kitchen utensil. Do something that will reinforce her individuality and reflect how much you appreciate her.

If necessary, save the practical gifts for her birthday and use Mother's Day as an opportunity to show true, spirited affection. Despite the many options, your central purpose on Mother's Day is simple and straightforward: Tell the mothers in your life how much you love and appreciate them.

For Mother's Day Why I love Mom

2010-05-04T17:13:00.002-04:00

WHY I LOVE MUM *

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, 'I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed'

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for dinner the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container and put spoons and bowls on the table.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a rubbish bin and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for an excursion, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturiser, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, 'I thought you were going to bed.'

'I'm on my way,' she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked..

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the basket, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualised the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. 'I'm going to bed.'

And he did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?

CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...... (and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)

50 Inspirational Quotes For Mother's Day

2010-05-04T16:45:00.002-04:00

50 Inspirational Quotes For Mother’s Day

Send Free Mother's Day cards and ecards

2010-05-04T14:39:00.000-04:00

Click the link for a great site for sending free ecards for Mother's Day:

http://www.123greetings.com/events/mothers_day/

FIFA WORLD CUP FOOTBALL (SOCCER) 2010 SOUTH AFRICA *June 11 - July 11, 2010: Dont' Forget May 9th is Mother's Day

2010-05-04T14:21:00.000-04:00

FIFA WORLD CUP FOOTBALL (SOCCER) 2010 SOUTH AFRICA *June 11 - July 11, 2010: Dont' Forget May 9th is Mother's Day

Mother’s Wisdom or Truisms

2010-05-04T14:11:00.000-04:00

Mother’s Wisdom or Truisms

Buying a Bra for Mother’s Day!

2010-05-03T18:54:00.000-04:00

Buying a Bra for Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother's Day (More Than Love) - Original Song David Choi

2010-05-03T09:53:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day Poems

2010-05-03T09:52:00.000-04:00

Mom
You can see it in their eyes,
in tender hugs and long good-byes,
a love that only moms and daughters know.

You can see it in their smiles,
through passing years and changing styles,
a friendship that continually seems to grow.

You can see it in their lives,
the joy each one of them derives,
in just knowing that the other one is there…

To care and to understand,
lend an ear or hold a hand,
and to celebrate the memories they share.
Once upon a memory
Someone wiped away a tear
Held me close and loved me,
Thank you, Mother dear.

Homemade Love for Mother's Day!

2010-05-02T18:44:00.000-04:00

Finding a gift for Mom or Grandma on Mother’s Day does not have to be stressful or expensive. Women everywhere can attest to the fact that Mom does not care “what” she is given on Mother’s Day, she just wants to know that she is appreciated and loved. Those are things that can’t be bought; they must be shown. So, give the special Mom in your life that gift – the gift of love on Mother’s Day.

Songs and Poems for Mother’s Day -May 9th

2010-04-30T14:12:00.000-04:00

Songs and Poems for Mother’s Day -May 9th

Just under 2 weeks to Mother's Day!

2010-04-29T17:02:00.000-04:00

Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 9th! That gives you just under two weeks to find the perfect gift for that special MOM!

Mother's Day Proclamation - Julia Ward Howe

2010-04-29T14:38:00.000-04:00

This powerful Proclamation was made by Julia Ward Howe in the advocacy for the need of official celebration of Mother's Day in Boston, United States of America in 1870. Miss Howe was the first person in US to recognize the need for Mother's Day holiday. She was successful in raising awareness amongst the masses and pushing her plead to the upper echelons of power.

Following this very potent Proclamation made in 1870, the Mothers' Peace Day Observance was held on the second Sunday in June, 1872. Such observances began to take place each year thereafter and paved the way for Mothers' Day Holiday in US on the second Sunday of May.

Though Ms Howe could not herself get the day recognized as the official holiday, she is revered for her significant contributions towards the celebration of the day and for bestowing honor on mothers.

Julia Ward Howe is also famous as the writer of the Civil War song, 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic'.

Mothers' Day Proclamation
Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be of water or of tears! Say firmly: "We will not have questions decided by irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us reeking of carnage for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy, and patience. We women of one country will be too tender to those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own. It says "Disarm! Disarm!" The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.

As men have forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each bearing after his time the sacred impress not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.

Julia Ward Howe

Happy Mother’s Day Tribute – Three Year Old Mother’s Day Rap, So Cute!

2010-04-29T14:33:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother’s Day Tribute – Three Year Old Mother’s Day Rap, So Cute!

Mr. T sings Treat Your Mother Right -What a Mother’s Day tribute! Funny

2010-04-29T14:26:00.000-04:00

Mr. T sings Treat Your Mother Right -What a Mother’s Day tribute! Funny

Please email me your favourites. *Rate the commercials (below) from 1-10

The Word Mother in Different Languages

2010-04-28T12:02:00.001-04:00

French - Mere
German - Mutter
Hindi - Maji
Urdu - Ammee
English - Mom, Mummy, Mother
Italian - Madre
Portuguese - Mãe
Albanian - Mëmë; Nënë; Burim; Kryemurgeshë
Belarusan - Matka
Cebuano - Inahan; Nanay
Serbian - Majka
Czech - Abatyse
Dutch - Moeder; Moer
Estonian - Ema
Frisian - Emo, Emä, Kantaäiti, Äiti
Greek - Màna
Hawaiian - Makuahine
Hungarian - Anya, Fu
Ilongo - Iloy; Nanay; Nay
Indonesian - Induk, Ibu, Biang, Nyokap

Meaning of MOTHER

2010-04-28T11:26:00.001-04:00

M-O-T-H-E-R

"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.

- Howard Johnson

Simply, call her Mom -for Mother's Day

2010-04-28T11:23:00.002-04:00

Simply, call her Mom -for Mother’s Day

For Mothers Everywhere – In time for Mother’s Day

2010-04-28T09:53:00.002-04:00

If you send this to just one person, it should make it all the way around by Mother’s Day.

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, “Did you see me?” they could say, “Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, “It’s OK honey, Mommy’s here.”

This is for all the mothers of Kosovo who fled in the night and can’t find their children.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they’ll never see.

And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

For all the mothers of the victims of the Colorado shooting, and the mothers of the murderers.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes.

And all the mothers who DON’T.

What makes a good Mother anyway?

Is it patience?

Compassion?

Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying?

So this is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.

And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn’t.

This is for reading “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year. And then reading it again. “Just one more time.”

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair and stomp their feet like a tired 2-year old who wants ice cream before dinner.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed – when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

Who lock themselves in the bathroom when babies keep crying and won’t stop.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls “Mom?” in a crowd, even though they know their own off spring are at home.

This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children’s graves.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them.

This is for all the mothers who sent their sons to school with stomachaches, assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation.

And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all.

So hang in there.

Please pass along to all the moms in your life.

“Home is what catches you when you fall – and we all fall.”

Mother's will love this! Sony Bravia 2010 World Cup ad “Superstar” Very cute and good!

2010-04-28T08:33:00.002-04:00

Sony Bravia 2010 World Cup ad “Superstar” Very cute and good!

Great idea for Mother's Day - A Massage!

2010-04-16T16:11:00.001-04:00

A Tribute to Mom - One Heartbeat At A Time

2010-04-13T06:24:00.000-04:00

THANK YOU MOM -POEM

2010-04-13T06:19:00.002-04:00

Happy Mother's May Mom -song

2010-04-13T06:18:00.002-04:00

Mother's Day Domino

2010-04-13T06:09:00.002-04:00

YOU -GREAT LOVE SONG

2010-04-13T06:00:00.001-04:00

"Safe In Mommy's Arms" A Heart Warming Mothers Day Song

2010-04-13T05:59:00.000-04:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY SONG -CUTE

2010-04-13T05:57:00.000-04:00

A Mother's Prayer - Rachel Aldous / Happy Mother's Day, baby lullaby, dedication song

2010-04-13T05:55:00.002-04:00

Simple things mean a lot!

2010-04-11T20:29:00.002-04:00

Just about says it all!

2010-04-11T20:27:00.000-04:00

When the Good Lord Created MOTHERS!

2010-03-31T17:31:00.002-04:00

When the good Lord was creating mothers, SHE/He was into HER/His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said: "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And the Lord said: "Have you read the specs on this order?..."

"She has to be completely washable but not plastic; Have 180 moving parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said: "Six pairs of hands - no way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems, said the Lord, it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." That's the standard model? Asked the angel.

The Lord nodded, "One pair that sees through closed doors so that when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' she already knows. Another in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know. Then, of course, the ones here in front that can look at a child when he messes up and says, 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, "come to bed."
"I can't said the Lord, I'm so close to creating something so close to Myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger, and can get a 9-year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very closely. "It's too soft," she said. "But tough," said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?" asked the angel. "Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she said. "I told you you were trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?" asked the angel. The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

"You're a genius," said the Angel. The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there..."

by Erma Bombeck

Happy IVGLDSW Day!

2010-03-30T20:43:00.001-04:00

Happy IVGLDSW Day!
Today is International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day, so please send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it from a Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman! And remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, totally worn out and screaming 'WOOO HOOOOO what a ride!'
To the Girls !!

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
  ~ Cora Harvey Armstrong ~

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out..   But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
    ~ Unknown~

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.     ~ Helen Hayes (at 73)~

I refuse to think of them as chin hair. I think of them as stray eyebrows.       ~ Janette Barber~

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
   ~Bette Davis~

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.       ~ Caryn Leschen ~

If you can't be a good example ~ then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
   ~Catherine~

I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.  (This is my personal favorite)
    ~Roseanne Barr~

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman
  ~Maryon Pearson~

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
   ~Eleanor Roosevelt~
Send this to five bright women you know and make their day. (Five!!! You've got to be kidding.... Every girl on my email list just got this one...)When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!

* WHY I LOVE MUM *

2010-03-29T11:58:00.001-04:00

Funny Jokes for Mother's Day

2010-03-13T15:14:00.002-05:00

After putting her children to bed, Jacqui changes into her old jeans and a worn out blouse and proceeds to wash her hair. As she hears the children getting more and more noisy in their bedroom, her tolerance grows thin. At last Jacqui wraps a towel around her wet head and storms into their room, putting them back to bed and giving them severe warnings. While leaving the room, she overhears her three-year-old say in a shaky voice, 'Who was "that"?'

The Vocabulary Of A Mother

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the children would care to order a dessert.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you're angry with him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into.
Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Whodunit: None of the children who live in your house.
Bottle-feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am.

Dear Mother

2010-03-13T15:11:00.003-05:00

Mother's Kitchen

2010-03-06T10:30:00.001-05:00

I love my mother's kitchen;
It's always bright and gay,
With flowers on the windowsill
To brighten up the day.

The kettle gaily singing,
The shining kitchen floor,
The smell of spice and homemade bread
When you open up the door.

I love my mother's kitchen,
For the family gathers there;
The laughter and the joy we share
Are way beyond compare.

The other rooms in our old house
Hold comfort, peace, and rest;
But my mother's homey kitchen
Is the room we all love best.

by: Mildred L. Jarrell

Happy Mother's Day ***MAY 13, 2012 - **Happy Mothering Day March 18, 2012

Mom's Easter Wisdom

Valentine Gift From Some Mothers

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS

CHRISTMAS TRIBUTE TO ALL MOTHERS

When is Mother's Day?

Funny emails From Mothers

For my Mom on Mother's Day

Mother's Day Quote

Happy Mother's Day 2011

I Love Mom ~ Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day

What Mothers Might Have Said to Their Now Famous Children!

Lady Gaga’s Mother: “Stefani, you need to stop being so shy and reserved!”

Barack Obama’s Mother:” Hawaii is such a beautiful place to be born!”

Heidi Montag’s Mother: “Just be yourself!”

Kate Middleton’s Mother: “You’re my little Princess!”

Oprah Winfrey’s Mother: “Oprah, stop talking and get to work or you’ll never amount to anything”.

Justin Bieber’s Mother: “Justin, please don’t spend so much time on YouTube. You seem to be coming down with a Bieber Fever!”

Miley Cyrus’ Mother: “Miley, you need to work hard in school. You’ll never get anywhere by just being cute.”

Kim Kardashian’s Mother: “Always be yourself. BUTT a little cellulite could help your career.”

The Fascinator ~ Great Gift For Mother's Day 2011

Happy Easter Mom

Flowers for Mother's Day

Gift Ideas for 2011 ~ How to decide what to get your mom for May 8

When deciding what gift to get your mom / wife for Mother's Day 2011 , consider the following:Her idea of a relaxing afternoon is…

1. a walk in the park

2. exercising or a long bicycle ride

3. a bubble bath with a glass of wine.

4. tending to her garden.

5. reading her favorite magazine while the kids watcha movie.

a movie.

6. making a batch of her favourite cookies.

.

Ice Cream Sunday for Mothering Sunday

Mothering Sunday Poem

Mothering Sunday April 3, 2011

Mother's Day - For Girls Only!

She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens.

She smiles when shefeels like screaming, and she sings when

she feels like crying. Shecries when she’s happy and laughs when

she’s afraid. Her love isunconditional. There’s only one thing wrong

with her. She forgets whatshe’s worth! Pass this to every beautiful

woman you know. Remind herthat she’s unique. I love you girl

Top 10 Reasons You Know Your a Mom When...

The Perfect Gift - A Hug

Happy International Women's Day to All Mothers

Valentine Poem for Mothers

The Rose Family by Robert Frost

**

The rose is a rose,

And was always a rose.

But the theory now goes

That the apple’s a rose,

And the pear is,

and so’s The plum,

I suppose.

The dear only know

What will next prove a rose.

You, of course, are a rose–

But were always a rose.

How to Say I Love You on Valentine's Day

iRon - Mother's Day Gift Fail

For Girls Only

A Strong Woman

Mothers Need to Take Time For Themselves

Mothers Think Twice- Happy Mother's Day

More Mother's Day Fun at:

Things My Mother Taught Me

Things Mothers Would Never Say

Famous Mothers Might Have said the Following:

The Mothers’ Dictionary from A to Z

Don't Forget Father's Day

Father's Day June 19, 2011

Real Mothers -Mommy to Mom to Mother

Funny and Inspirational Quotes about Mothers

Mother's Day Specials

When is Mother's Day and Mothering Sunday in 2011

Great Poem for Mother's Day -Mother Doesn't Want a Dog by Judith Viorst

Mother's Day Poem -To My Mother by Edgar Allan Poe

Happy Mother's Day *MAY 13, 2012 - Happy Mothering Day March 18, 2012

When deciding what gift to get your mom / wife for Mother's Day 2011 , consider the following:
Her idea of a relaxing afternoon is…

5. reading her favorite magazine while the kids watch
a movie.

She smiles when she
feels like screaming, and she sings when

she feels like crying. She
cries when she’s happy and laughs when

she’s afraid. Her love is
unconditional. There’s only one thing wrong

with her. She forgets what
she’s worth! Pass this to every beautiful

woman you know. Remind her
that she’s unique. I love you girl